The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

My father who is 90 in less than a month, flew to England to visit with me and his grandchildren for a week. I drove him to Ilkley Swimming Pool every morning so he could keep his daily fitness routine of working out with light weights in the pool. I went home and made coffee. I’m not like him where mornings are concerned!

For 90, he is so young. In fact, for 80 he is young I think!  I am so blessed that he is not only still alive, but REALLY alive, and funny and smart.  It was only 5 months ago that he published his fifth book and did a TEDx talk. His niche is Loving Longevity.

Yes, I am definitely a chip off the old block.  I was telling a close girlfriend that it’s lucky I adore him so much or I’d be horrified because we are so similar!  My sister is also similar to him, but in totally different ways than I am.

We took the most scenic drive through the Dales to Hawes to the Wensleydale Creamery, and experienced a superb and moving exhibition/installation at Salts Mill in Shipley. He saw both of my kids new houses and a handful of my close friends. 

I feel so blessed to have such an exceptional man for my father.  I can talk to him about anything, and I do, and he is nothing but loving and supportive.

When Forrest drove with me to collect him at the airport, I noticed my son’s default mode kick in of how he expected me to react around whatever we were talking about. I pointed that out to him and reminded him that I too have evolved. We haven’t lived together since he was 16. Then my Dad arrived and later that day I noticed my OWN default mode of expecting Dad to react a certain way kick in….and just like me with my own son, he didn’t react how I thought he would. He’s evolved too.

I thought how funny that we get so triggered and sometimes annoyed by our parents simply just being our parents; telling us the same stories over and over, behaving in the quirky ways that is so unique to them.  And yet, we are doing the exact same thing to our own kids! And they’ll do it to their kids too. Our parents ought to be our biggest Allies, along with our children.

I’m very blessed. I have a father willing to own his own stuff and heal, grow and continually expand his mind.  My children are the same. We, as a family have been able to hash through all the wounding, the dysfunction, the upset, to find true communication, friendship, and loving and supportive connection.

I’ll admit it’s been easier for me to heal my stuff because I have and had parents who were willing to go to the depths of wherever I needed to go, to heal.  Not every family is that lucky.  But you can still heal your own relationship with your parents, siblings, partner, colleagues even if they are not up for playing!

Because any relationship we have stems from the one we have with ourselves first.  Are you allowing yourself to truly feel all of your emotions free from judgement?  Are you being true to yourself and taking ownership of your part of the dynamic?  Nothing is ever one way, even if your only part in it is because you simply allowed it to continue. 

Do you seek to understand why you think the way you do? Why you respond and behave the way you do? You’ve learned most of those responses and that means you can unlearn them too.

DM me for a 20 minute call for a potential “aha” moment and start creating flow and connection in your life. Whether your parents are still with you, or are laughing it up in Heaven.