The Dance of the Masculine and Feminine Within
This week on my show From Beyond Birth Trauma: From Burden to Brilliance, I had the pleasure of speaking with
This week on my show From Beyond Birth Trauma: From Burden to Brilliance, I had the pleasure of speaking with the wonderful Kathy Gardarian — a trailblazing, high-powered businesswoman who forged her path in a predominantly male world.
Kathy shared how, in order to be seen and received as a woman in business, she often had to shift strongly into her masculine energy to match the men around her. She was a pioneer of her time, paving the way for women to be recognised and respected in leadership.
The Balance Within Us All
Every one of us — regardless of sex — carries both masculine and feminine energies. Ideally, these two aspects are in balance, allowing us to flow gracefully through all situations and relationships.
Sometimes, however, we lean more heavily toward one side. There are moments when it’s appropriate to embody more of our masculine traits — assertiveness, action, focus — and others when we are called to soften into our feminine — intuition, receptivity, and compassion.
Neither is better or worse; they are simply different expressions of life force energy.
When the Feminine is Suppressed
If you’re a woman who often gives up your power to men, you may be unconsciously suppressing your feminine gifts. In the Andean and Incan shamanic traditions I’ve studied, the power actually lies within the feminine. Think of Mother Earth — the ultimate nurturer, creator, and sustainer of life.
Yet, in much of the Western world, we still live in a culture that values the masculine qualities of doing and achieving over the feminine qualities of being and receiving. This imbalance can leave many women feeling unseen or undervalued.
Our Early Imprints
Much of our relationship with masculine and feminine energy is shaped in childhood.
As women, our first relationship with the masculine is often with our father — he becomes the subconscious template for the men we’re drawn to later in life, even if we consciously want something different.
For men, that first deep connection is usually with their mother, who can set the tone for the kind of woman they later seek.
If we didn’t have strong or healthy role models — for example, a father who was aggressive or absent, or a mother who was angry or disempowered — we may internalise those patterns. They can show up later in life as insecurity, overcompensation, or difficulty trusting ourselves and others.
The Root of Bullying and Power Struggles
Bullying — whether you’re on the receiving end or the one doing it — often stems from a deep insecurity or lack of safety within oneself. When we don’t feel grounded or secure, we may try to elevate ourselves by putting others down or giving our power away.
I’ve encountered my share of bullies, and I’ve found that when I calmly call them out on their behavior, they’re often shocked. People rarely stand up to them, so they’re forced to pause and reflect. Sometimes, that’s enough to shift something inside them.
Kathy shared that in business, directly confronting someone’s poor behavior isn’t always wise, because in business, like in life, having a good relationship is crucial. Instead, she learned to “beam love” from her heart — silently sending out compassion and warmth to difficult people. Our heart energy is powerful, and when we radiate love toward others, even silently, it can soften tension and open new possibilities.
Finding Your Balance
If you feel like you constantly have to fight, push, or hustle to be heard — you may be over-relying on your masculine energy. It might be time to lean into your feminine side: nurture yourself, slow down, breathe, and trust that what’s meant for you will come with greater ease.
On the other hand, if you find it difficult to speak up, ask for what you need, or take action toward your goals, you may be too anchored in your feminine energy. In that case, try calling upon your inner masculine — take a stance of strength, speak your truth clearly, and move forward with courage.
One simple way to explore this is through body language and colour:
Ultimately, balance is the key — learning to dance gracefully between both energies as life calls for them.
From Burden to Brilliance
Our conversations on From Beyond Birth Trauma always circle back to one thing: coming home to our true selves. Whether we’re healing our early imprints, releasing generational patterns, or learning to balance the masculine and feminine within, it’s all part of the same beautiful evolution.
If you have a powerful story — perhaps about your birth experience, your healing journey, or how childhood messages shaped your life — I’d love to hear from you. I’m always looking for guests with inspiring journeys of transformation.
Book a call to share your story and be part of the conversation.
This week on my show From Beyond Birth Trauma: From Burden to Brilliance, I had the pleasure of speaking with
Assuming your physical health is okay — that there’s no illness draining your energy or capacity — but you still
