How Were Your Cries Met When You Were A Baby?

A lot of people, particularly women, but some men too, suffer from feeling like they’re not seen, not heard, don’t feel like they are enough, or they feel invisible or alone.

Do you know that this could be related to your birth?

Most of us know by now that the energy we put out is what we draw back to us.

When we’re babies, we cry. That’s our method of communication, because we haven’t learned to form words yet.

We cry to let our parents know that we’re hungry, uncomfortable, that we need holding, that we don’t want to go to sleep by ourselves, and a multitude of other emotions.

When you were a baby, how were your cries met by your parents? Did they respond to you immediately? Did they respond to you from a place of love? Did they respond from a place of frustration, aggravation or anger?

Or did they just let you cry it out?

Do you see how this imprint from birth up into the first two years can create deeper subconscious feelings of not being seen and heard?

Our first early formative years are when our imprint is being set up for us.

That’s why they call it the ‘terrible twos,’ because children, by that time, are learning to talk, and our favorite question is, “why, why?

why?”

And our parents are exhausted, and busy, “oh my gosh,do I have to explain everything?’

The toddler is pulling on the mother, “Mummy, mummy….” And Mummy is saying, “just a minute, just a minute!” to her children, and they’re receiving it as, “my needs are not being met. I want attention now.”

So it goes into that baby like, “I hate you Mummy, [because I’m not your first and main priority].”

Now, I know “I hate you” sounds extreme. But essentially, when you chunk down real core emotions, (love, fear, happiness, anger and revulsion) that’s what it comes down to in that moment.

Obviously we grow up. Hopefully, we form a good bond with our parents, and we realize that they love us to the best of their capacity.

However, when I started studying transactional analysis, I discovered how easy it was to screw up your children without even trying!

I changed my dynamic with my own children radically when I understood the way that children perceive things, because they don’t have the whole picture. They don’t have all of the rationale and understanding that we as grown ups have.

If you think about the lack of understanding and rationale that some grown-ups have, it’s likely unhealed parts of their child perception that they are still carrying around with them.

Maybe you don’t remember that time, but if your parents are alive, or any other relatives that you could talk to about what it was like, and not just about when you were born, but when you were in utero, I would highly recommend that.

Were your parents screaming at each other all the time? Was your mother an addict? Was she being abused? Was she sad? What was happening? Was she worried? What was going on? Was she grieving?

You can even track this back further ancestrally, like what kind of messages did your mother and father receive as a child from your grandparents?

It’s really fascinating when you start to connect all of the dots to see why our birth imprint can so radically impact the rest of our life.

If you’re feeling not seen or heard, or if you feel that you’re not enough or that you’re invisible, or maybe that you’re just going to be alone forever, perhaps there’s something deeper that you need to look into.

If that interests you, I’d really love to hear from you. Book a free call and let’s have a chat. A little information goes a long way!

I’d love to see how I could help you in any way, shape or form, just to have an ‘aha’ moment.