Do You Think You’re Alone In This World?

Do you think that you’re alone in this world?

The spiritual philosophy that ‘we’re never alone’ because we’ve got our connection to Source Energy, the God part of ourselves and our angels and guides supporting us, is a hard one for a lot of people to accept. Especially if you don’t have a support network of people around you.

But I’m not talking about that philosophy. When we’re babies, and babies are extremely resilient, we make a subconscious choice or decision, it’s our perception of things.

You might not feel that you’re alone because you have loved ones around you. Maybe you have kids who you’re close to, maybe you’re married, or in a relationship.

You’ve got good friends, but maybe you’re wondering why some of your relationships never work out? Or, you keep feeling invisible, not enough and alone. The top three patterns that keep, especially women, stuck.

Why do we feel this? Why is the majority of people’s fear about ‘I’m going to be alone, I’m going to die alone?’

What is this loneliness that we have as a human race?

You might not feel that your birth could have anything to do with it. Maybe you had a beautiful birth, and you have wonderful parents.

Everything was great, except that because of those first two formative years, maybe you don’t know what your surroundings were like, or what you were having to “deal with” as an infant and toddler.

All of your birth trauma, starts with your ancestral imprint.

What kind of information and energy did your ancestors pass down to your parents? Your parents picked up and were holding the mantle for much of their parents stuff.

And it was another time. It was another time and a harder time. So there’s that aspect.

And then in utero, what was your mother feeling? What was going on for her?

There are all sorts of ways that she could have not been present for you, even though you were inside of her. And perhaps the birth was absolutely smooth and wonderful, idyllic. No drama, no complications.

But what about right after the birth? Did you have to go into an incubator?

Were your parents tactile parents? Did they hold you a lot?

Did you have time to bond with your mother?

Were you born into a family with lots of siblings? Were your parents away?

Did they leave you with a nanny or somebody else before you were two years old? I see that happens a lot, and it’s really not a great plan for the kid. The children need their mother, their prime caretaker, which is generally the Mother, the Father is great, but the mother is the prime caretaker in most cases.

So what kind of fundamental ingrained safety and security was there for you as a baby?

Did your mother breastfeed you? It ties in to all of that bonding, all of that extra holding. Yes, they fed you, maybe with a bottle, but it’s not quite the same. Skin to skin contact is extremely important for a newborn baby.

And then those first two years, what was going on?

Did your mother have postpartum depression? Were you born into a noisy environment? Were you immediately put with a nanny? Were you in daycare? Were you adopted?

All of these variations on a theme are separations from our parents, from that profoundly important bonding.

If you haven’t ever read the book, ‘The Continuum Concept,’ by Jean Liedloff, read this book now, especially if you’re pregnant. It’s absolutely a game changer. She spent two and half years with indigenous tribes in the Amazon jungle and observed that the mothers breastfed and slept with their babies until they were two, which also acted as birth control.

When they were ready to have another baby, the baby then went to sleep with the Father, or another relative. The baby was always with one parent, adult or another, and would run around free from being put in restrictive playpens, because they were safe. They had their parents, they had their community, they had their other little baby friends, and they weren’t going to run off and just be left alone to fend for themselves.

Also, did your parents leave you to cry it out? I know that that was one theory back in the day of good parenting. The theory was that if your baby was crying, to just let her cry it out. Not cool.

In our emotional development, these are all ways that we as babies subconsciously decide, ‘wow, I’m alone in this, so I’ve got to figure it out. I’ve got to find my own way through life.’

And what does that create? That creates a singular, independent, “I Am” mindset. Individual, singular, alone thinking so that when you get with somebody else, what happens is that you either give up all of your power to the other person, because you don’t have the balanced energy of collaboration with others, because you’re only yourself. If you feel less than, or not enough, or indeed alone, you may easily latch on to someone else’s “I Am” thinking.

If you’re an only child, you learn a lot of the “I Am” thinking because you don’t have to share any of your parents attention, or any of your toys etc., and if you’re not getting enough attention you don’t have a sibling to collaborate with.

So you’re suddenly in a partnership, and you’re not considering the other person fully, because everything is all about you.

I see this all the time with my clients, and we all tend to think of “me first.” And yes, I teach Self First. You have to love yourself first before you can be fully available to anybody else.

But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about your mindset, how you think, ‘Well, I had a perfect birth. Everything was groovy. So that’s not affecting me now as an adult.’

But the ways that it can affect us as adults are really stealthy. You might be a very independent person, and that’s great, yet you’re craving partnership.

Except that, are you thinking about moving forward with another person? Are you thinking about merging with that other person? Or how they will fit into your life? Or how you will fit into theirs?

It’s a whole new blank canvas!

Years ago, I took the Lifebook course by Jon and Missy Butcher on Mindvalley, and at some point in time, they talked about how your partner must come before your children. At that time, I was thinking, ‘No way. No, no, wrong, my kids are first, absolutely, my kids are first.’ My kids, not our kids, right? Didn’t notice that singular “I Am” mindset at the time, perhaps because I wasn’t living with Bobby then, but I didn’t make those kids by myself!

They explained that in partnership, when anything is multiplied, you have much more power when you work as a pair, in unity.

When people come together and pray en masse, the energy field expands and is much more powerful and forceful.

So if you’re doing homework with your kids and your partner comes in, stop what you’re doing for the moment. Model to your children how to love your partner and greet him or her, just to let your partner know you’re there and with them, first. “How was your day?” Maybe your partner really needs that hug so that you’re a multiplied force together. Then go back and finish doing what you’re doing with your child.

That might trigger a lot of people. It triggered me a lot back then when I heard it. But when they explained that your partnership is the most important thing that you can have, if you’re in partnership, and that’s what you have to prioritise; they changed my mind.

Any time you say “I Am” it is an affirmation. But when you have solo, individual thinking, it’s harder for you to open your thinking to the collective, to the collaboration of things.

We always talk about being part of the Earth, being part of the grid, the energy that connects us all, except maybe people only understand that intellectually.

But they’re not getting that at a cellular level because of this alone thing. So I encourage you now to look at your thinking.

I’ve been called out on it very recently, my alone, “I Am” thinking — that it’s all about my schedule and what I’m doing and my connection to things, because I am one person and alone. And in some way I’ve been practicing that my whole life!

But now in a new loving partnership, I need to learn to collaborate. I’m living proof in partnership, that there needs to be a shift so that you can include your partner’s independence along with yours.

It’s subtle, but it’s profound.

I see this in my past in partnership with Bobby, who you all know about. My way of being inclusive with him, was still in the “I Am” thinking. Here’s a really good example of this; when were redecorating, and re-painting the living room he asked, “Do I get a say in this, this time in how we’re going to decorate?” Because the first time, I probably just went on ahead and did it. I assumed as he was married to me, because he loves me, he’ll love my colour palette!

So I said, “Yes, yes, of course, you have a choice in this!” And I went and picked out about six colours that I liked, and from that six, I gave him a choice. But did he have a whole choice of the entire colour palette? Or did we have a discussion? No.

Because of my independent, singular thinking, I wasn’t inclusive in the whole picture of that. And probably a million other things in our relationship and likewise, he wasn’t inclusive in the whole picture of our relationship because of his commitment to work. It’s never only one person. We are all programmed from birth.

So look at yourself. Look at yourself in your relationship. Are you really together or are you two independent “I Am” thinkers cohabiting and trying to be unified when you can?

Look at yourself in your relationship with your parents. Maybe you left home really early, and I know it’s not your first two formative years, but some kids can’t wait to get out from underneath their parents ruling. Maybe you had very hierarchal parents, ‘my way or the highway’ kind of thing, and that’s not being inclusive. That’s not allowing your child to form their own thoughts, to form their own beliefs and responses to things.

There are so many aspects that can go into what started at birth and that you’ve carried with you through your life that affect you now, that you don’t even realize.

You don’t realize, because it’s part of your norm. It’s not a big thing. Probably your partner doesn’t notice it either, because they’re probably in the same place.

There are so many different variations on this theme, and especially if you’re in relationship and you’re finding it difficult to communicate at the level that you want, I encourage you to start to look at your singular thinking. Look at your inclusivity, look at your level of collaboration and your ability to connect to the collective.

Because really, if we’re all going to move forward as a One World Nation, we’ve got to understand that we really are part of the collective on the bigger picture, but also at home with your loved ones.

You’re part of a collaboration. You don’t have to give up your power to anyone in order to open your heart to be inclusive, and then, guess what? You really won’t feel alone anymore.

Anybody feeling triggered out there? I hope so! Part of my job is to trigger people and make people feel resistant. That’s our greatest gift because it lets us know we’ve some inner work to do.

Want to have a chat with me? If this topic interests you, very soon I have a digital TV show starting, which I’m extremely excited about. I think this is the first time I’ve mentioned it publicly, and there will be more information to come on that one.

I really look forward to connecting with all of you. So book a free call. Seriously, just a free call. I’m not trying to sell you anything, because we all have free will and free choice. I love to connect with all of you. I would love to give you a little ‘aha’ moment over the phone and see who is willing to allow me to help them shift! Your ancestors will thank you!

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