Triggers and “Truth”

Today’s subject is about triggers and “truth.” The reason why I say truth in quotes is because when we’re triggered; when something inside of us immediately feels defensive, and as though our opinion or our perspective is what is right, or the “truth,” there’s really no

right or wrong in the bigger picture!

Underneath every trigger is a deep root feeling or cause of that trigger, and there’s no right or wrong because our feelings are our feelings. 

If you’re feeling something, it’s not right or wrong to feel that way. You feel that way because that’s how you feel in that moment. You feel that way because of your “truth,” in other words, your perspective, your life experiences, all of the reasons why your body has chosen to respond and react to things in a certain way. 

This weekend I was triggered. It’s always so fascinating when I’m triggered, because part of me is always thinking, “Hmm, what’s underneath this trigger?”

But still, when you’re in it, you’re in it. And what us humans do is that we get very attached to our perspective of things. I’m pretty far along the line of self development. I’ve had a lot of practice in this, and even though I can hear what’s being said, I can almost separate myself from my personal self, and take my consciousness a little bit out of my personal brain into the sort of therapist self to hear things in a different way. 

Even though, because it was a personal trigger for me, I could only hear things to an intellectual level. That is one way to listen to something so that you can hear or receive another person’s perspective, yet it hadn’t traveled down through all the deeper parts of me in the moment. 

I feel like a gumball machine where all of the the pieces are settling down into the other layers, into the emotional layer, into the psychological layer, into the palpable feeling myo-fascial layer, into the cellular container that we all are.

There’s a process time. People process in different times. Some people process really quickly. Some people take a few minutes, maybe a few hours. Some people take days! 

The trigger basically, is not what the issue is, underneath that trigger there’s an underlying feeling, that probably stems back to your birth and beyond. How you were raised, the core, fundamental feelings you feel inside yourself, whether it was not being held, being abandoned, not being seen, not being heard, being controlled, not being taken seriously….you name it.  

Add to the list of thousands of possible variations of what could be going on underneath your trigger. In the moment of the trigger, most people are not aware of that deeper thing going on, because that’s not what’s current and in the forefront of your mind. So we get very attached to our perspective. 

While I was triggered this weekend, we were talking around in circles, and couldn’t get out of there. When triggered, some part of you switches off, even though you’re trying to understand the other person’s perspective, because you’re in that triggered moment where all of your nerve endings are screaming, “I’m right! I’m right!” because as humans, we love to be right. And in a way, in that moment you are right, because you have a right to feel how you feel.

It’s hard to receive information when you’re in that space. When we’re very attached to our perspectives, we think, “No, this is the truth!” However, it’s not really about that. 

So what I would really encourage people to do and what happened this weekend too, which was absolutely beautiful, we realised we were just going in circles. So we decided to park it.

Let’s park this and not continue right now, because this is what creates unnecessary drama. Either drama in your own head, or drama with each other, because then it gets into a fraught situation. And you don’t need to do that, because what’s really going on is an energy imbalance somewhere along the way, either in you or the other person, or both people. 

So this weekend, I separated myself from the vicious circle. A crucial and important part of shelving things is that we had a big heartfelt hug FIRST. Then, I got in a hot salt bath. And while I was in the bath, I thought, “No, stay out of my head. This is just energy.” So I did energy work on myself. I literally started clearing my chakras, pulling energy out. I was downloading acceptance, relaxation, peace, understanding and focussing on feeling the love for the person that I was triggered with. 

With any person that you’re triggered with, probably you’re triggered because you care about that person. So if you’re in this situation with anybody, I highly encourage you to just stop. 

If you’re going around in circles, don’t keep going around in circles, because that’s not going to help you. Just stop for a moment. Remember all of the things that you love about that person, and pause. 

And if you’re not the one being triggered, if the other one’s being triggered, and you’re dealing with their trigger, again, it’s the same thing. Just step back from that and hold loving space for that person, because there’s obviously something going on at a deeper level that maybe they’re not tuning into yet. 

This, I know about myself, and I realized, this is not helping. So I could take myself out of that. But if you’re not aware of that, but you’re aware that that’s where the other person is stuck, then do them a favor and lovingly and gently, just say, “Let’s just shelve this for now.” 

Now, a lot of people can’t “just shelve things” because they’re still holding on to it in their anger, they’re still in the resistance fight and they’re going over and over in their head. 

That’s the drama that you or the other person are creating. “No, no, you don’t understand me!,” so you’re drumming up all of this unnecessary emotion about something that you don’t have all of the answers to in the moment, and possibly projecting it onto the other person. Or, all the drama is happening within yourself in your own head.

Relax, be gentle with yourselves on your spiritual healing journey into adulthood, through adulthood, dealing with all of the different relationships we have with everybody while we are still responding from our innocent child selves. We’re still being affected by those core root emotions that we learned and modeled for survival. 

It’s deep core stuff. So try not to be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself to simply be human and feel what you feel without any judgment on it. 

There’s a wonderful expression: I’d rather be happy than right.

A lot of people need to be right in everything that they do. Energetically that’s keeping them in the fight and in a place of resistance. And it’s not about that, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about being in flow. 

And even if you are disagreeing, you still don’t have to hit some invisible wall. You can just choose to chill out, and let yourself process.

I feel myself processing now. I feel like everything is sinking down to other layers, and it’s kind of subconscious thoughts, although I feel it in a palpable physical, energetic way, because I feel my energy physically. But however you process, however you receive information, it’s all cool. 

But do try not to do a head trip number on yourself, because that’s not helping you, and all that’s doing is cementing your perspective and cementing you in that need to be right. “This is the truth,” and it’s not. It’s your truth for the moment, because that’s where you are, based on your life experiences and your feelings and everything that you’ve modeled from birth.

And yes, it does go back to birth and beyond, and those first few formative years, depending on what was going on for you then. Maybe you’re in your 60’s now, maybe you’re in your 70’s and you’re thinking, “Come on, birth can’t still be affecting me!” But surprise, it really can! 

So I encourage you to be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to process in the way that you need to. Don’t put judgment on yourself or your feelings. 

And if you’re entwined in this with someone else, just step back and remember all of the wonderful reasons that you love each other in the first place, why you’re good friends with each other, all the fun that you have with each other, and realise that this is simply an energetic imbalance. 

Get yourself in alignment. Get clear in your thoughts. Think loving thoughts, hold loving space, and just let your energy do the work. You may never agree with the other person. That’s okay, but can you feel peaceful in disagreement?

We overthink things so many times, and we really don’t need to do that. If you would like some help with this, please book a free mind shift call. I love talking to people, and you could have a great big life changing ‘aha’ moment. I’d love to be the penny that drops for you!