The Relationship You Have With Yourself ALSO Needs Nurturing

Marriages and relationships all need nurturing. They all need time and effort to maintain, so that things can keep going smoothly and you don’t lose your mojo with each other. They need consistent time where you’re just focusing on each other. That’s where date nights come in. 

But what are you doing about your relationship with yourself?

The world as we know it right now is a pretty anxious place to be, and all of that background anxiety, not to mention the anxiety you have right in front of you, at your desk, on your laptop, in your home, with your kids, with everything that’s going around you in your job – but the world at large, there’s a lot. 

So how do you take care of yourself with this? Do you have dedicated time every day where you actually look after your own best interests? 

It doesn’t have to be a huge amount of time. People think they don’t have time to do X,Y,Z… But you can get very resourceful and break things down into short segments of time and use all of the tools that you have to help yourself. 

I need to be focused and sometimes I can get very distracted, so I listen to solfeggio tones in the background. Look them up. They’re everywhere. They’re on YouTube, Solfeggio Tones. And there’s different tones for different reasons.  I type in solfeggio tones for focus, or for focus and anxiety, if I’m feeling like I’m trying to avoid the news for example, because the news causes me anxiety. 

Whatever is triggering you on a daily basis, there are ways to change that energy.  You might think, “Sound healing? That’s silly, and aromatics? Come on!” Well, let go of your judgment for one little minute and just give it a try! 

Let the tones play in the background while you’re working. I’ve found it’s been extremely helpful. There’s scented candles for all of the olfactory stuff if you’re into scents and you want to have a different peaceful feeling. 

You can get an OM tuning fork, it’s not so much to listen to, although you can hear it, but it vibrates a lot. How about putting that on your heart chakra, and it chills you out amazingly!

When people come to my full moon fire ceremonies, I often bring out the OM tuning fork and give everybody an experience of that. It aligns you. You can get your palo santo wood and burn that and spin your chakras. You can do anything that brings a better feeling to you. Interpretive dance!

You can take a hot bath. If you don’t have 15 minutes to meditate, then meditate for five. If you don’t have a whole hour to work out, then work out in 10 minute segments a few times a day. Do whatever you can, because doing something is better than nothing.

One of my most favorite things to do is to go dancing. I love to dance Ceroc. It’s like Modern Jive, partner dancing, lots of twirling around. Over the winter, I got out of the habit, and I didn’t go for all of the “reasons,” or no reasons, yet it’s one of my favorite things to do. And I thought, “Why am I not doing this?” 

Because it starts at 8 o’clock at night, sometimes by then I’m done, and I don’t want to rev up and go out and see people.  Except that, I really love to dance. And I can’t remember one time that I’ve ever been dancing where I thought, “Oh no, I wish I didn’t do that!” 

Same as going to the gym or going for a walk in the woods or whatever it is that you do. If you’ve noticed that you’ve stopped doing that, that’s part of your self care. 

Part of the self care is to notice how you’re feeling, notice what’s going on for you. Do you need to change your diet? Do you need to clean that up for a bit? Do you need to to detox? Just cut something out for a month, cut out alcohol for a month, cut out sugar for a month, cut out carbs for a month, maybe not all at once, but play around with your system. 

You’re a moving, working entity, and you’re changing all the time. As you grow and learn and evolve, your relationship with yourself changes, your relationship with others change. Just as you would take time and effort and energy to put into your relationship or your marriage, by having a date night once a week where there’s no phones, you just concentrate on each other. Same idea only with yourself: Focus on the positive things that you want to see. 

Look at yourself in the mirror. This is the most important relationship you’re going to have with anyone because this relationship is 24/7 every day. Are you looking at yourself in the mirror every day and and affirming, “Wow, you’re amazing. I love you. You’re awesome. I’ve got this! I can do whatever it is I need to do today!” instead of looking in the mirror and criticising? 

Stop feeding yourself negativity. There’s more than enough of that out there to tap into, if that’s what you’re into. 

You can also tune into my new digital TV show called Beyond Birth Trauma – From Burden to Brilliance. Last Tuesday, I interviewed Dr. Helen Orombi, and it was absolutely fascinating, talking about her upbringing in Uganda and her ancestral connection, and she gavels all a wonderful EFT Tapping mini session to shift fear.  Brilliant. Next Tuesday, I’m interviewing Sophie Kirkham, she’s a doula, so that’s going to be a really cool conversation, too. 

Everything that we are, is like a combination of default programming that we’re stuck in. But we can create our own default programming. You can create your own default template for how you want to be and the habits that you want to get into, and just like setting up anything else, you just have to set it up for yourself and with the humans around you. 

We need about 21 days to practice whatever it is consistently before it becomes a habit. But decide what it is that you want to do. These things aren’t going to just happen. You need to make them happen. You’re the architect of your life. How would you like to design it?

Why don’t you start by booking a free mind shift call with me, and I can help you design a good template for your life, something that’s realistic and practical that you can tune into and help yourself feel like the amazing person that you are, every single day.