Why Am I Stuck in Shame and Self-Sabotage? Look to Your Parents—and Their Parents

You’ve done the work.
You’ve read the books.
You’ve sat in meditation.
You know you want more for yourself.

And yet… the same cycle repeats.

You set a goal. You feel excited.
And then—bam. You shrink. You sabotage. You feel small and wrong. Shame creeps in like fog.

“What is wrong with me?” you ask.

Here’s the truth: maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you are carrying shame that isn’t yours.

Many of us are.

Look at your parents. Look at their parents.

Did they live with unspoken guilt?
Did they believe they had to suffer to be good?
Did they silence their needs, their gifts, their voice?

Did anyone in your lineage take an oath—spoken or unspoken—to stay small? To hide? To protect the family through self-sacrifice?

If so, that energy can live on in you.

Children are loyal to the family field. We unconsciously repeat what our ancestors could not heal. We carry their shame as our own. We sabotage our joy to stay loyal to old patterns.

This is not your fault. But it is your responsibility—if you want freedom.

Begin by asking: Is this shame mine?
Sit quietly. Listen. You may feel an inner yes or no.

If it isn’t yours, you can choose to let it go.

Breaking ancestral patterns is deep work. But it starts with this one question:

“Whose shame am I carrying?”

When you start to untangle this, everything shifts. You stop sabotaging. You stop shrinking. You begin to live your own life.

Your ancestors don’t want you trapped in their pain. They want you free.

And when you choose freedom, you free them too.

Need help exploring or clearing your ancestral line? I’m your girl!  Book a free mind-shift call to break all those old chains holding you back.