Face What You’re Avoiding!

Sometimes we think we don’t know where we are on our spiritual path or where we’re going. Maybe we feel stuck or that life is okay, but we want to explore more, to expand, to grow, to heal.
We want to be the best version of ourselves so how do we move forward? Where are we getting our cues from the universe? Is it the spirit animals that are crossing our paths that we’re supposed to be looking at? Is it the dreams we’re recording in our mind’s eye that we’re supposed to be remembering?
Is it a limiting belief? Do we need to work with crystals? Where should we go? What should we start with?
We are our own best containers because we tell ourselves exactly what we need to do, what we need to look at, and where we need to focus, in order to expand.
And the easiest way to do this is simply face whatever it is that you’re avoiding!  Because when we’re avoiding looking at something (and maybe you don’t even realise that you’re avoiding it because you might not be losing sleep over it or crying about it or even paying any attention to it) it’s just getting built up there in those dark, dusty corners until something feels sludgy and achey or you’re just denying the need to look at something.
I have some amazing, very seasoned healers in my current run of From Fear Into Love, my 12-week online course, and they know their stuff, are mostly clear and pretty evolved. One of them called me to say, “I don’t want to do the homework. I don’t want to do this. I just don’t want to answer these questions!” Naturally, I started laughing because this really needs to be fun!  We want to poke fun at the parts of ourselves that we don’t want to look at. The healers in this class came because they are actively searching for expansion.
It’s such a gift. These moments of contrast when we really don’t want to do something, but we know it’s something that we need to look at, noticing that resistance is the gift. Let’s just choose something we all need to look at all the time, like finances right? Doing my finances, numbers… I don’t want to do it. So this year after avoiding that for a number of months, I thought, “oh man, I really do have to deal with this every time tax season comes and it’s just not fun.” And so I decided to change accountants and find somebody who can actually do this for me, to take that pressure off of myself, because this is something that I torture myself with, unnecessarily.
So if there’s something about yourself that you really know you’re not going to look at, like something literal that you have to do in your life, then hire somebody. Run your life like a business. This is what delegating is all about. This is what all of these sites like Upwork and Fiverr offer so that you can hire somebody who does do the job that you need to be done. Hire them so that they can do it properly, so that you don’t need to lose any more sleep about it.
But that’s not really what I’m talking about here. There are practical things, needing to paint the front room for example, if it’s annoying you every day and you’re avoiding it and you just don’t want to deal with it. Deal with it. Go deal with whatever you can deal with and literally change it because that can empower you right off the bat.
But what I’m talking about are the darker shadow parts within us, the things that we really don’t want to look at.
“I don’t want to face looking at how I feel about something.” If you’ve been triggered, even if it’s a low level trigger, even if you’ve never thought about it before, but something is not leaving your mind or churning in your guts, that’s the very thing you need to explore.
When I ask my clients why they came to me? Many of them say, “I don’t know.” And I always ask them, “but if you did know, what would it be?” because we all do know! We all have the answers within ourselves and it is really about quieting all of that other monkey chatter so that we can go within and sit with the new feeling, contrast, upset or whatever it is that’s causing us a dilemma or causing us resistance in facing it, so that we can see why.
What is it that I’m afraid of finding out about myself? Because really, all healing is, is self discovery, finding out what our boundaries are, finding out how we actually feel about things, not how our parents feel, not how our kids, or everybody else around us feels but how we feel about our relationship to this emotion or this circumstance.
It’s relative for each one of us. So if there’s a question that has been asked of you, like if you’re in a personal development course like mine, and you don’t like the homework because the questions are triggering you, dig within and find out why.
And if there are other things in your life that you’re avoiding looking at whether it’s something physical in your house, something literal, or an overwhelming closet or cellar…the moment you take action and start to look at things, it’s like that unseen monster under the bed. They have their claws and hooks in you when you’re not facing the stuff you need to look at. And when you do finally, open the closet and check the finances or, look into your emotions or face your anger/sadness/guilt etc., you’ll immediately begin shifting the energy in your body.
You’re spending so much energy resisting the thing that you’re not looking at. Whereas if you would breathe, drink some water and decide, “Yes! I’m going to look into this and see what this feeling is really about? What is this resistance about? Why am I overwhelmed about it? Angry, frustrated, what comes up for me?”
And listen to the words that you say. Because it’s all of those feelings that are underneath why you’re avoiding something. And once you start listening to the words that you’re actually saying, this is your truth speaking, and you can listen to this even if it feels like it’s not coming from you.
But pay attention! Talk to your close friends or if you don’t have anybody to talk to, then record yourself just talking about how you feel about why you’re resisting this and just talk stream of consciously into your voice recorder and then listen back to it. You’ll hear all of the things that you say. You’ll hear the parts you like, your justifications, and what you don’t like. Give yourself a few hours of space afterwards so that you can forget about it, move on to other things and then listen to what you’ve said later or if you’re good at journaling and you can write stream of consciousness, get it all out. It’s fascinating to me when I go back and read my journals, when I’m done with them, the stuff I’m writing about usually has answers right there as well.
So I highly encourage all of you, if you’re resisting something, whether it’s cleaning out a drawer or facing your finances, or not looking at why you’re so angry, sad, guilty, defensive, blaming others because you don’t want to look at that – in other words, you don’t want to look at the deeper reasons, not just the trigger.
I would say look at the deeper reasons because what are we so afraid of finding out? We’re just finding out more about ourselves. And a very wise woman said to me recently, ‘sometimes you don’t know what your boundaries are until they’re crossed.’
What’s the worst that’s ever going to happen? So you find out something that you don’t like, well, now you know that you have a boundary. Maybe you didn’t know about that before, but instead of going into the anger about it, embrace it as a gift because self awareness is great and the more you practice self awareness, the more you shed all of those layers of suppressed emotions that are holding you back.
And we clear our ancestral line too of course when we’re clearing our own stuff, so our ancestors are grateful. We’re moving forward with the times, we’re moving forward in our self, our bodies and our emotions, in our psychology and our spirit. And we’re breaking the repeating life cycles. If you have children, you’re modelling for the next generation of how it can be done.
So we have lots of information in our hands. The thing that you’re resisting the most, you know, like that book from ages ago, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. Feel into what it is because if you’re resisting something that’s a shadow part within you, that’s your own projection.
You’re afraid of facing your own internal monster? Make friends with her! Are you really that scary?
And if you need help please book a 20 minute complimentary mind shift call with me. I just love speaking to people and reframing something for them because a little bit of information can go a really long way.
And if you haven’t already, please get yourself a copy of my book, Controlling Your Hidden Emotions, How To Make Friends And Live With Your Emotions. It came out in August of this year. It’s not rocket science, but this is a simple, easy to read book that can help you have a better mindset and move forward in your life. Give it a try, because maybe it could help you.
If you’re interested in working with me and really jumping on the bandwagon to actually shift your whole life and find out who you authentically are, then definitely book a call with me because From Fear Into Love is such an amazing course. I’ll be running it again in March.
And if you’re interested in finally travelling the world again, I’m organising my next trip to Peru, on September 22nd, 2023, for two weeks. Mark it in your diary! It’s going to be life transformational. I’ve already had two passengers that ‘up and moved’ to Peru and other amazing life changing stories from taking my people there. Naturally, we go off the beaten path and I’m very well connected shamanically plus, Peru is such a stunningly beautiful country and wide awake energetically!! I’d love for you to join me and I’ll have deals too, so if you want to come with friends, there’s going to be all sorts of flexible opportunities.