Did you know that if you hug someone for 20 full seconds you release the happy, feel-good hormones, oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine? 20 seconds doesn’t sound very long but most people hug and they do that “A-Frame” hug, barely touching, and a little pat on the back, and it’s done!
Put your bodies together. Put your left arm over the top of the other person’s shoulder so that your heart chakras are lined up with each other. Most people have their right arm over the other’s shoulder.
With your left arm over, put your bodies together with the person you are hugging, hold them for 20 whole seconds, breathe with them and witness how you feel when all those hormones start to get released.
I’ve been on a wonderful retreat this past week, and especially after all of these years in isolation, COVID pandemic, and post-pandemic, I live alone and work alone, so I don’t have as much interaction with people as I used to. You get very close to people during retreats. I can’t tell you how enlightening and joyful it was just to hug people and hold people and to cuddle. I’m not talking about sexual stuff or it leading anywhere. Simply cuddling.
Remember, when you had a baby, if you’ve ever had a baby or if you’ve ever had a young kid around, you just want to cuddle, and the kids definitely know what’s good for them!
Why don’t we do that as adults?
Why don’t we cuddle with our close friends? Spooning is the most wonderful thing, why do we reserve that for a lover when you can cuddle with your best friend? You can cuddle with your parents. You can cuddle with your siblings.
Animals help people because we give our creatures all the cuddles and petting and curl up with them. Why are we not curling up and taking care of each other? It allows all of those feel-good hormones to be released and begin to fuel us with feelings of joy. It reduces depression. It takes away anxiety, it releases stress. It makes us feel happy. It can relieve us from burnout and overwhelm.
Simply relax with your arms around each other.
We’ve been so isolated and separated but that’s not the way humans were designed. Even though one of my top Love Languages is touch and quality time, I am still really good in my own space. But cuddling is such an important thing.
Speaking of languages, if you haven’t read it already read, The Five Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman. It does have a religious element to it, but if you’re not religious, just don’t worry about that part. Read about the 5 languages because it’s profoundly accurate. He talks about people’s different love languages and that only one person needs to change the way they dialogue with a partner, consistently speaking their love language and eventually your partner will turn around and respond to you in kind with your own love language.
I put this to the test many years ago with my ex-husband ( we both have different love languages) and it was absolutely incredible! We’re always blaming or looking outside of ourselves, but bring everything back to yourself.
When Bruce Lipton, the author of The Biology of Belief, and his wife would have a disagreement, instead of arguing about it, when they were annoyed with each other, they’d go off and have their individual process time. But then they would sit next to each other, not saying anything, not trying to resolve things, simply sitting within each other’s energy fields not even touching, but thinking of the love they have for the other. And then they noticed that they would move a little closer and maybe end up holding hands and they trusted and allowed their energy and hormones to work together. Within a fairly short amount of time, their upset with each other naturally evaporated.
Do the work sitting next to each other, not going over and over about what they did or didn’t say or do, but instead focusing on the love you have for your partner. If you’re in a difficult phase of your relationship, you must have liked them in the first place, so focus on the things about your partner that you like; even if it’s just a small thing, focus on that, sit next to them and invite them to focus on what they like about you and see how your energy can change!
We are all energetic beings.
So why don’t we help ourselves every day? Don’t run out of the house in the morning, hug your partner or your friends, and hold each other for 20 seconds.
ONLY 20 seconds! Aren’t you worth experiencing all of those happy hormones releasing in your body so that you can go out in the world feeling good, happy and relaxed? Great! Then do the same thing when you meet again in the end of the day. And don’t just save it for your partner and your kids. Hug your friends, find some friends that are happy to have a proper cuddle with you and cuddle up.
Start cuddling up, folks.
Let’s give ourselves the best nourishment there is and that is human connection. You don’t need to read anything else into it. This is science, you have hormones. These are happy hormones, they release when we get together. So find a way to get together with people that you trust. And hug and cuddle your way to happiness.