Independence Day or Codependence?

Happy recent Independence Day. In honour of Independence, I made live the new public Facebook group called Women Being Seen And Heard.

Globally, men and women also, underestimate the potential of women. Culturally and socially we have been shut down and told to shut up and been bypassed over for opportunities even though we’re more than capable. 

As a result, we’re not thinking big enough. We’re thinking small and we’re playing small. 

And we’re staying involved in codependent relationships, not just with our partners, but our friends, our parents, maybe even our pets. 

Maybe you’re denying yourself your higher knowing or your higher connection to your spirit and your source. 

From here on in, I’m going to be doing my Facebook Lives in that group. Women Being Seen And Heard https://www.facebook.com/groups/271535615558165

It’s really along the same themes we need to get out of; constantly being in shame which holds us back, and the hidden barriers that keep us stuck in our patterns. 

We need to get out of not feeling seen, not feeling heard, this invisibility complex. 

We need to get out of not feeling good enough or enough because that’s really coming from a place of lack.

When I thought about everything that I usually talk about, our limiting beliefs and letting go of the things that sabotage us, it really comes down to this invisibility complex. 

Most of you know by now that is my core wounding of not being seen and heard and so that is now the public group, because I am not alone among women who feel invisible in one way or another!

So if you want to continue with me and tune in and watch my videos, it’s now going to be a public group and it’s live now if you want to join me there.

I would love to have you join our community of women and only positivity and uplifting people and helping people feel empowered and motivated, no rescuing, no enabling because this is what we’re all stuck in now. 

Tuesday was the Fourth of July Independence Day, the land of the free and the brave. But is my homeland really the land of the free and the brave anymore? 

Are you independent? Really? Are you free? Are you brave? Or are you stuck in some kind of codependency?

Like feeling responsible for other people’s problems, or taking on other people’s problems, and offering advice, even when it’s not asked for.

If you’re a new healer and you’re just starting out, well, we tend to do that because we want to heal everybody, right? We learn something new and we get all excited about it. That’s a phase. 

But is this a chronic condition that you’re in? 

Are you still trapped in poor communication regarding your feelings, your wants, and your needs, not being able to set boundaries or being able to ask for what you want because it comes down to a fear of being judged, or not being received?

All of this falls into this invisibility umbrella that we’re talking about in the new public group, Women Being Seen And Heard. 

Maybe you’re having difficulty adjusting to change. We get very set in our ways and we think things need to remain a certain way, or having control issues, and needing to control the outcome of things.

You know that if you’re just in the ‘Divine I Am,’ we don’t really need to worry because we know that the universe has our back. We can set our intention and desire for what we want and we can trust that the universe will find its own way of delivering exactly what is good for us, or giving us what we need to learn and grow. 

Not expecting everyone else to do exactly as we say but allowing everybody to be as they are as well. 

Or how about difficulty making decisions? That’s coming down to not trusting what you fundamentally know. Constantly questioning if you’re making the right decision. “What if this – what if that?” So how about just getting in your aligned centre and getting out of your way so that you can go up to source and call in and trust that intuitive gut instinct that we all have?

Chronic anger, that’s another sign of codependency. Why so angry? What’s the actual problem? 

Or feeling used and unappreciated, maybe you’re in a relationship where you’re receiving everything that’s being given but you’re not giving back or the other way around? So you feel like somebody’s taking advantage of you or taking you for granted. 

People pleasing also falls into the codependent thing, having a lack of trust in others, and that comes down to fear of being judged.

Fear of feeling ashamed, fear of not being good enough. All of this contributes to not being seen or heard. 

What about fearing rejection, or being unlovable, or being the victim? Constantly in the ‘poor me poor me,’ “you’re doing this… you’re making me feel this way…” when we know that no one can make you feel a certain way. It’s all down to our perceptions. 

So stop putting the blame out around you and look at conflict, whatever conflict is coming your way, whatever contrast there is as the gift so that you can acknowledge how awful it feels but also recognise that’s because there’s some unhealed part of you that you need to work on in yourself. 

Also taking everything personally. The whole world does not revolve around each one of us. If somebody is having a bad day, or saying something that you think is really mean or is just being off-hand in some way, it’s not necessarily about you, it might not have anything to do with you. 

But when we take it personally, especially when we’re triggered by something, we take it personally and then the blame goes out, whereas the blamed person might be coming from a loving place and they have no idea how you’re perceiving things. 

Also lying to yourself, denying yourself your truth, and making excuses for others. So if you’re apologising on behalf of somebody else, if you’re masking for somebody else, not just yourself, and any kind of general helplessness and anxiety, these are all signs of codependency. 

Yeah, we can tick a lot of those boxes, everybody can whether you’re in a partnership in a romantic relationship, or with your friends or with your family members, parents, or even with your pets. 

I read an article about my last beloved old cat Bliss that we had a codependent relationship while she was old and dying and even when I found her she was young and dying. And I was so sad.  And so we did we rescue each other. If there’s any rescuing going on, you’ve got to look at that.

It’s natural to be somewhat co-dependent, but it’s a good idea to be conscious of how that is manifesting in your life so that you can have a healthy relationship with whoever you are being co-dependent with.

Independence is being aligned with who you are at the roots of who you are. Being safe and free and brave, ie: vulnerable to speak your truth, your full truth. 

And if people don’t like it, too bad! You’re not going to feel afraid, you’re not going to worry about being judged because other people’s judgment has nothing to do with you. 

So think about that kind of freedom. Celebrate the long lost freedom for your beautiful country, my homeland, and pray for its future freedom again, and look within yourself and find out where you’re not being free, where you’re not being true, where you’re not allowing yourself to be vulnerable and be brave to show up as the best version of yourself. 

And please join me in the Facebook Women Being Seen And Heard group. I want the people who are willing to do the work and look within themselves to grow and evolve to come with me over there so we can move forward in a very empowering way, holding each other up and helping each other grow. 

Although it’s a group for women, the evolved men out there who are following me are more than welcome to join the group too even though I predominantly work with women. 

There are highly evolved, growth-oriented men who understand that this is for everybody, really. 

So if you want to keep growing and evolving and being the best version of yourself and letting go of old beliefs and blocks, then join me over there and book a call. 

Let’s have that ‘aha’ chat so I can help you find out where you’re missing the point with yourself so that you can move forward in a much more positive way. Book a free 20-minute mind-shift call, for a new perspective on your current situation.