Look For The Positive Nuances In People

You know, when somebody says, “Oh, you’re just like your father,” my mother used to tell me that all the time when I was annoying her. In the jungle through the screened-in huts I heard a couple having an argument and she said to her husband, “You’re just like your mother — that’s right! I said it!” Usually, those comparisons were said intimating a negative aspect of the parent.

Well, we have those aspects too. And certainly, there are a number of things about my father that I still need to keep a secret to myself, just as I’m sure he does too, about me. It’s not all just one way.

But what I’m inviting you all to do, and not just about your parents, but about everybody is to look for the positive nuances, like the silver lining of things, about how you are like your parents, how you are like your siblings. I mean, my sister and I are off the deep end of opposite planets to each other! Never have you met two more different people. We’re very close, but we have an agreement to disagree. But years ago, I went to take care of her because she had had an injury and I noticed all of the ways that we are the same. We had the same parents, we had the same childhood, how could we not be similar?

And it’s the same when we meet people who annoy us upon impact, right? We all meet those people and for no apparent reason, they annoy us which could be for a whole host of energetic reasons. Because all of our triggers are mirrors and usually those triggers reflect our shadow side.

How would it be if you looked for the positive nuances in everybody you met? Search for some aspect of them that you can identify with. Maybe you like the way they give you direct eye contact, looking directly into your eyes when they speak, because a lot of people don’t do that. I really appreciate it when people give me eye contact. Or perhaps you identify with them smiling at people, or when they’re nice to random strangers or to waiters and waitresses. You like their manners, or you like the way that they’re a careful driver, or the way that they put themselves together. You like the way that instead of arguing, they’ll take a breath and take some space.

Find the positive nuances in everybody you meet, but especially your parents because we came from them. So if you’re still having a complicated relationship with your parents or any family members, or you’re still in the fight, get out of the fight and start looking in that mirror of all the good things, because we all have everything; the light and the shadow.

So if you think that you’re a good person and you’re happy, but you’re still in the fight with your parents or your siblings, then it’s time to turn that around and start appreciating all the wonderful things about that person, because they’re you too!

I’ve always loved him, but I’ve never enjoyed my father more. He’s 87 now and publishing his fourth book. He’s with it, cool, smart and so funny. I look at his thin skin and look at my own skin imagining how it will look 27 years from now. Hopefully, I’m going to be as with it and healthy when I’m 87. I’m appreciating him in a way I never have before. Perhaps because of missing him for so long. Maybe it’s because he was always different when his partner was around and now he’s back to his own authority.

I’m joyous to see him and be with him. It’s also great to be with my best friend from childhood. We don’t have a lot of connection because we live in different countries and both have full and very different lives. We don’t see each other that often. But there’s a kind of life weaving together and a fundamental connection. And these fundamental connections that you have with people, especially lifelong people, are precious.

Have you lost your childhood friends? Have you lost your friends from high school or from university? Where are your root connections from childhood? You don’t need to be friends with all of them, but take up some old friendships, and people that you were really close with and reconnect with them again because there’s something very special about baby bonds. Get back in touch with your friends, there is no better time than right now.

Find the positive nuances with people because when you start to see the good and all the things that you love in others, that will reflect back on you and you’ll start to appreciate your own self a lot more.

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AND REMEMBER TO GET YOURSELF A COPY OF “Controlling Your Hidden Emotions – How To Make Friends and Live With Your Emotions” under my own name. If you enjoy it, I would so appreciate a review. You can find it on Amazon.

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