Who You Are Is NOT What You DO

Women tend to take our skills, capacities and performance (or lack thereof) – any mistake we make, personally, and we make it about our value and our self worth. 

We need to take our value and self worth off the table when it comes to our skills and performance. 

If you’re a mother and you didn’t manage to get your kids uniform cleaned in time for Monday morning, it does not mean that you are a bad mother. It means that you had a full weekend and a million things on your plate. 

If you’re in a job and you hand your report in late, it does not mean that you are crap at your job. It means that you missed a deadline. That’s all it means. 

When we make a mistake, all it means is that we have the potential to increase our skills and capacities and expand our knowledge and make ourselves better. But it does not detract from who we are.

If you’re into self development but you missed a few mornings of meditation, it does not mean that you’ll never evolve and it’s all out the window! Or if you’re on a diet and you eat a piece of cake, “forget it the whole thing’s over! I’m never ever going to lose this!” NO!

Why do we define ourselves by the mistakes that we make? 

We’re amazing, powerful, educated and talented about most things that we do. We’re loving people and we’re doing our best but we’re also human. 

Sometimes we make mistakes because that’s what humans do. But just because we make mistakes does not mean that our value is any less. 

It doesn’t mean that our self worth needs to be any less either. 

We can still be marvellous, wonderful people and let everything be messy all around us because life is not perfect. Life is not ideal with everything in order. Life is messy and complicated and disordered.

Why don’t we make friends with that kind of disordered-ness that’s all around us so that we can flow and navigate through it without taking all of that stuff personally? So that we don’t become less than in the process of just trying to get through the day and making the best of every situation? 

Sometimes things are hard. Sometimes we fall off our path for whatever the reason. Less of the whipping ourselves and self torturing and more of the appreciating the core of who we are. 

If you focus about having a good heart and that you’re loving of other people, your intention is good and that you care deeply for others, you’re doing the best that you can. 

That’s what you focus on because that’s the core of who you are. Not any mistake that is happening, not what you’re doing or how you’re doing it – that doesn’t define us. 

So lighten up, allow yourself to be messy, to live in disorder, and to just do what you can and have fun while you’re in the process of doing it.

Please book a mind shift call with me. I’d love to hear from all of you and let’s have a chat. A specific chat to find out what’s missing in your life right now. What is it that you can’t quite put your finger on that is causing you that lack of abundance in all of its forms on a daily basis?

Join the Women Being Seen and Heard Facebook group. Book a mind shift call so that we can have a chat and see how we can best work together.