Fixed Mind Set Or Possibility

In my experience as an holistic therapeutic coach and shaman what I hear my clients saying to me, are their beliefs with a very fixed mindset. 

It’s closed loop thinking. Their thoughts are either/or, instead of both/and. Or it’s all or nothing, or win or lose, or success or failure, like there’s no possibility. 

It’s a belief that says, “this is just how things are, and they can’t change.” And sometimes it’s a belief that, “My partner won’t be open to this…” because that’s their experience. 

And in fact, this is everybody’s experience of all of our thoughts and beliefs that we’ve modelled and learned from our parents; whatever they’ve said and haven’t said, whatever they’ve done and haven’t done. And from our upbringing, so we’ve had years and years to practice our “reality” of how things are. 

However, we have the power to change our mind set, because we can change the neural pathways in our brains, which are like highways that hold all of our subconscious behavioural beliefs. 

Our thoughts, actions, words, and the way we respond to things are formed and live in our neural pathways. So when we change our mindset, we start to create possibility and growth oriented thinking. 

Like, instead of either/or we can think, “I can have both.” I can do this and that, we can win and learn, and we can fail and learn. We can grow from all of our challenges. There isn’t anything that’s cut and dry. 

In fact, we can take imperfect action rather than having to have everything be absolutely perfect all the time. My mentor, Dr. Claire Zammit always talks about giving ourselves permission to be brilliant and imperfect at the same time, because that’s how life is!

We might not get it perfectly right all the time. For example, in preparing for speeches when you’re memorising something and trying to remember, we get stuck because we haven’t remembered the exact words that we put on the paper. Well forget about that. Just pull out the essence of what you want to say. 

I might have an idea of what I want to say and it doesn’t always come out perfectly or eloquently all of the time, but the idea and the general essence of it does, and that’s better because then at least I can come forth and share information, guidance or inspiration. Instead of holding myself back and suppressing all that I have to offer because it isn’t quite perfect yet. 

We give ourselves such a hard time and end up suppressing and sabotaging ourselves because we think we have to do everything perfectly the first time around. 

But that’s just not life. That inhibits us from having a multitude of possibilities. When we just throw ourselves out there, brilliantly and imperfectly to have the experience that we do, and be in it with all of its imperfections, perfections and all of its glory, that’s being in the moment.

When we go for a walk and the sun is shining, we don’t completely crumble into a mess if suddenly the clouds come out and it starts to pour with rain on us. We change our state of being, hopefully we have a jacket and are prepared for it, but even if not, we start to enjoy the rain, hopefully, and relish in the smell of the rain hitting the earth. We don’t completely melt into a puddle because our circumstance and situation has changed. 

So this is the difference between having a growth oriented mindset of possibility as opposed to a fixed, closed-loop mindset of a false belief of “how it is.” 

“This is my experience. So this must be true.” Unfortunately that’s how many people in the world probably live and function! 

And we don’t even know what are our blind spots are that are keeping us in that stuck place. So when we start to examine what’s really underneath all of that, both of my courses From Fear Into Love really helps you get to grips with that if you’re starting your self development journey and Unstoppable You, if you have done a lot of work but still need to find out even more about what’s holding you back and how these things manifest. 

These programmes will help you get to the grips of how you secretly sabotage yourself, how you’re missing your blind spots, not just because of the negative things that you’re doing, but maybe even because of the positive things that you’re doing! 

Because you’re not losing any sleep over the stuff that isn’t really bothering you too much, it could be a gap that you’re not seeing in your life. It could be a blind spot. 

I would love to speak with you if you think that you’re missing something or that you should be further along. Or if you think there’s a gap or you’re just generally feeling unsatisfied with life.

Perhaps you’re frustrated or you notice that you’re in some kind of a repeating pattern but you can’t quite put your finger on what that is? This is the work that I do. 

It’s so empowering when you start to think a different way. It’s really amazing, deep work that helps people go within themselves.

Many people think that they’re doing the work and going within, but really they’re still looking outside of themselves for answers. And really all of the answers are within. 

I know it sounds all “woo-woo” and “la-la” but that’s actually how it works! And when you start to look within yourself and notice your thinking and discover all of the subconscious behaviours that you’ve modelled your whole life and are still playing out, it all becomes so apparent!

It’s big ‘aha’ moments like, “wow, how could I not have realised this before?” 

So if you’d like to have an ‘aha’ moment, and have a conversation with me about this, I’d love to hear from you. I take the greatest joy in helping people shift. I’ve changed my own life radically. And I’ve helped 1000s of people by now change their lives too.

Please book a call, they’re free. You’re not going to lose anything by having a 20 minute conversation with me. It could change your life.